Sasuke's Unexpected Guest
by The Madness Of My Life
Summary: Sasuke goes home one day and get a visit from someone. Total crack-fic. Horror of the pink and fluffy things.


**Disclaimer: Do I really have to go through this again? I know, you know, hell, I think the whole world knows that Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimote**

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><p><strong>Sasuke's Unexpected Guest<strong>

Uchiha Sasuke was standing in his house in the Uchiha district, today he had passed the ninja exams and he was in his own eyes one step closer to reaching his ultimate goal. Killing Uchiha Itachi, his big brother and the murderer of their entire clan.

''Damn it Kami! Why can't you just show me where Itachi is that would make everything so much easier,'' frustrated he started to take his anger out on the inventory of the house that now only was home to the last Uchiha. He crashed the table and then turned around to trash the rest of the room, first the chairs, then the cabinet with all the dishes in and lastly the pictures of the once whole Uchiha head family.

''I'm strong enough, I've hatred enough, I have trained and trained and now I am so strong that you can't just ignore me any more,'' he started talking as if Itachi was there in the room with him, ''and when we fight, I will finally defeat you and bring greatness to the Uchiha clan once more.''

Suddenly a smoke bomb went of and instead of the gray or dark purple color the smoke usually had, it produced a cloud of baby-pink smoke. The smoke slowly cleared and there stood, drumroll please, Uchiha Itachi dresses in a pink skirt with lace, and a corset in a little lighter pink color, also with lace. In his hand he was holding a wand, pink, with a star at the end of it and string in different shades of pink hanging from the star. His hair was braided with white (finally a different color) flowers sticking out of it.

''Hallo my dearest little brother, it's been a long time since we have last seen each other,'' Itachi said in a sugar coated voice and when he saw that the only thing Sasuke could do was opening closing his mouth as he continued. ''I have come here to make sure you are ready to face me, so you just sit back and then I will clean up this mess and then I will start helping you get ready, seeing as I could have already killed you at any given moment, you are clearly lacking'' still in the same sugary voice.

Sasuke looked at him, eyes widened with shock. He tried to talk but the words would not leave his mouth. Itachi saw this and giggle, a very girlish giggle. He slowly made his way over to Sasuke, intending to give him a hug.

Sasuke seeing this, quickly came to his senses and tried to get away. Key word being, _tried._ He was embraced by the girly Itachi and stuggeled with all his might to get free, all the while throwing curses and words that could make a certain foul mouthed priest blush.

''My, my, dear brother.'' Itachi said sounding slightly like a snaky pedophile,''where have you leant such a language? Don't tell me that the absent of parents have made you forget your manners.''

''I didn't forget anything, espacially that you were the one who killed them, now let my go so I can kill you!'' Sasuke screamed.

''Sasuke-chan, you really need to learn how to control your anger, otherwise you will never be able to kill me as you always say you want to do'' Itachi told his dear little brother, '' I'll get you started on some anger management classes, after that we can move on to meditation and so on. So, give me two sec. and then look into my eyes so we can get started'' He went on cheerfully. Itachi started to swing his wand saying,''Eins, zwei, drei!*'' and turned into a giant plushy.

Sasuke being a little shocked from seeing his clans murderer turned into an oversized plushy forgot one of the most fundamental rules taught in the Uchiha clan; NEVER, ever look another Uchiha in the eyes if the have their Sharingan on. He realized his mistake in the same moment his world went black.

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><p>Three days later<p>

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><p>''Oi, Sasuke!'' loud muthed brat was heard yelling outside the head house of the Uchiha clan two days later. The brat, known as Uzumaki Naruto, had been sent to pick up Sasuke by their sensei. He hadn't been attending team training the last three days and his sensei had begun to worry, so he choose to send Naruto over to check out what was keeping him away.<p>

When he did not receive an answer the blond nucklehead went on entering the building. Having absolutely zero idea about the outlay of the house he opted for just going through the room one by one.

As he made it to the kitchen, he heard something that sounded like, ''Please, no, NO! No more fluffy things, please! GET THEM OF MEEEEE!'' from the corner furthest from the door. He turned on the light and saw to his amusement Uchiha Sasuke, curled together in ball, scared out of mind, whispering about pink and fluffy things that should get the hell of him.

''Yo, Sasuke,'' Naruto said in is loud obnoxious voice, ''What the hell happened here?''

Hearing the voice of his idiotic teammate, Sasuke's head snapped up looking at Naruto with big bloodshot eyes, that had a tint of craziness in them.

''Help me, Naruto!'' he said, voice horse from screaming, ''They're after me, saying that they won't leave me alone, that they will shower me with love and care and _PINK_ to make me manage my anger! Please don't leave me with them again, help me get out of here, please!''

To the blond's great horror, the Uchiha crawled over to him at clutched on to his leg with a death grip.

''Oi, Teme, let go of me!''

''Please don't leave me with them!''

Naruto, having been back tracking the whole time, hat once again ended in front of the house, ''Let go of me, you stupid Teme!''

''Need any help, Naruto?'' their scarecrow of a teacher asked.

''Argh!'' Naruto said, nearly having a heart attack. ''Don't sneak up on me like that!''

''Gomen, you were just taking so long that I thought you might needed some help'' the jῡnin said.

''Sensei, I think Sasuke-teme is the one that needs a helping hand,'' as the blond finished they turned their attention to the mess on the ground that kept mumbling about pink and fluffy stuff.

''You know what Naruto? I think I have to agree with you there''

Kakashi and Naruto picked up the Uchiha and left, non of them saw the snake sannin standing in the bush saying sadly, ''And I thought I was the one supposed to fuck him up.''

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><p><strong>That is all there is this time. I hope you liked reading :D<strong>

**And I know that there are some mistakes that I have overlooked so please, feel free to point them out.**

**And about the ''Eins, zwei, drei'' thing, well I have been watching a little, just a tiny bit, Ao no Exorcist and Mephisto says this every time he turns into a dog so I thought, why not get Itachi to say that but instead of turning int a dog he would turn into a human sized pushy. **

**Caroline**

**EDIT!: I have been going over this again to corrected some things and I have changed some of it so that it makes more sense.**


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